Bob Likes It Rough

This was in my inbox today:

"hi my name is robert.

my friends call me bob

but can i ask u something with out u getting mad at me?
its just a qwashion?
but if someone wonted u to tie me to a tree and u could cut-wipe-kick-slape-and brake some small bones..and make them feel a lot of pain..and make me bleed real bad?..for free or monie...would u do that? to me??
please let me no what u think...k? its me im talking about.
please write back....please do not get mad...
its just a qwashion
no sex involed

please write back

your friend always

bob"

...........

Um. NO.

Passive Aggressive

Directions:
Write ten somethings you want to say but never will.
Don't write who they're to.
Leave it alone.

1. I'm kind of tired of this arrangement. And your know-it-all attitude.
   
2. Why are you such an asshole? You are the rudest person I know.
   
3. I avoid you because I can't understand what you're saying when you speak.
   
4. Get over him already. It's getting really stalkerish.
   
5. I think it was really inappropriate what you said to me at the printer and I told HR about it. One more comment and I will tell her your name.
   
6. You are not European or even from the West Coast so what's with the annoying accent?
7. I don't really like you. It's not your fault, it's just the way I am.
   
8. He's not faithful.
   
9. She's not faithful.
   
10. Stole from you when I was mad. Something insignificant that you'd never miss, but it made me feel better.
    

Summerfest!!!

Summerfest was a blast this year, and Rafal of Seville Media even captured some of it on film. Here are the only two pics where I don't look like an angry oaf:

Me and Beth at a jewelry booth, she's got a lucky buddha or gargoyle or something:



Beth, me, and Kim having something to eat.

AE Peep-toe Flats: What to wear them with?

So I got these shoes >>> from Payless (which has quite a few cute styles now that they have paired with American Eagle, etc) but I haven't been able to successfully pair them with anything in my closet. They just don't look right. They should be cute with jeans but I think I'm still in summer mode so my mind immediately goes to another shoe, a sandal or flipflop that would look cuter. They look wrong with a skirt too, because I need a little heel to make a skirt right.

I had intentions on pairing this purply shade with a coral, or maybe green ... Definitely not purple, though. I don't dig matchy-matchy.

I think I'm going to try them with cropped pants today. Wish me luck.

How I think my sister should wear her skinny jeans in Paris ...

Oh, tapered jean, how I remember you from the 80's as the IT thing to wear. Even if you had to 'tight-roll' regular jeans, they had to be skinny. Pretty soon that look extended to the other end of the spectrum -- into the big bell-bottom and wide flares, and I was so grateful, since that style did nothing for me.

Now that the skinny jean look has come back my sister Kim is going to try this trend with a pair she picked up at Forever 21. She's debuting the look in Paris this month!

Here are some ways I think would work for my sister's petite, skinny frame:


With a tunic, a la Anne Hathaway -- I like the look of a lot on top and a little on the bottom. However, I think the wedges should go in favor of a cute flat.



Although it will probably be warm in Paris in the middle of August, I like the long cardigan over skinny jeans. These are more like straights, but you get the idea.



I love how Vanessa Hudgens makes it look so easy! Kim could pair her skinnies with lots of easy lights, whites, and grays, with a splash of color in her bag or a flowy scarf as shown here.

However she styles the skinnies, I'm sure they will look extra-cute!

Mid-Summer Closet Cleanout

Last night I sorted through my closet. Actually, I went through the pile of clean clothes that had accumulated near my bed, and I needed room to hang the stuff in my closet so I had to throw some things out. Here's the list of things I said goodbye to, partly in reaction to this article by Allie of Wardrobe Oxygen:

• 3 cheap polyester skirts
  
• a yellow pattern dress that was an unflattering material and hit at just the wrong part of my leg
  
• a black sheath dress that didn't fit quite right and never will
  
• 2 cheaply made long sleeve shrugs
  
• a silk pink camisole that looks like lingerie no matter what I pair it with
  
• a skort that should only be worn by a 14 year old
  
• a gray A-line skirt that is a miniskirt on me (got it from goodwill, giving it back to goodwill)
  

And some other miscellaneous stuff.

It's hard to part with clothing because I always feel like the more options I have the easier it is to get dressed. But it's harder. I seem to fall back on the same staples anyway. I didn't realize I have about 10 pairs of jeans because I wear the same 3 constantly (and two are a duplicate - if you find something you love buy two).

I am trying not to buy any more summer clothes or shoes. I know I will need stuff for fall/winter so I can wait until then to spend any more money ...

Wakey Wakey

I got up at 6 am today. I could have gotten ready and gone to work early so I wouldn't have to stay past 4 (I can never fully concentrate after 4pm) but there are two reasons why I cannot do this and must wait to leave until 8.

1. I carpool. Every morning my coworker Kate comes to my house and we leave from there. We trade off weeks, one week I drive, one week she drives. It saves a lot of money on gas but unfortch I have to wait until 8 am for her to arrive before we can go. Obviously.

2. The teenager lives with us now. He has a regimented schedule which his father worked out perfectly to allow me and him adequate bathroom time. Sucky part is if I get up any earlier than 7am and have to pee I am forced to hold it until the door opens. Sure I could knock but I can usually wait an extra few minutes. Anyways there is no way I could access the bathroom between 6am and 7am (yes the boy takes an hour in there I wonder what takes so long).

So I must stay on my schedule and push through that last dreadful hour at my desk, gorgeous afternoon weather + sleepy afternoon naptime or not.

***But the crazy thing was even though I got up at 6am today I did not get in the shower until 7:40 and I was still ready on time. How did I do that AND switch outfits three times, you ask???

I have no idea.

This is a ridiculous blog post.

Out of Body Experience

Last night I had a crazy dream ....

I wanted to get something pierced, but I was too afraid to go by myself. So I asked my friend Holly if she would take me. I knew Holly could handle it; she's had tattoos before and she's pretty bold. So while she took me to get pierced, I went off and did my own thing for a while. <--- Yeah, she literally took my body into the piercing shop, so that she experienced the pain and not me, and I didn't feel a thing! Crazy, I know. It's a dream, remember!

A few hours later when she returned my body to me I noticed that my lower lip was pierced on both sides. It was pretty cool, I must admit. I couldn't stop checking myself out in the mirror. I'm so edgy, I kept thinking. I then wondered what else was pierced and asked Tom to check out my new look. He said that the back of my neck was pierced, which I thought was really cool. Then I lifted my shirt and found my whole back was pierced with big, giant barbell needles! All the way down my spine - I looked fierce! I was also told that *ahem* some other places were *cough* pierced too, if you know what I mean. But I didn't feel any pain, just a little discomfort from getting used to my own skin again. I thanked Holly for going through it for me.

Then, with a twisted tinge of buyers remorse, I started to wonder if my new look was going to go with my wardrobe ...

Poll - Spring Shoes

Bye Harry :'(

Harry died tonight. Harry was more my Tom's pet than mine ... nonetheless I cried like a baby.

He hurt his leg the other day and it was downhill from there.  He couldn't walk or hold himself up. He spent the last few days on the bottom of his cage, or in the bedroom with us on a comfy bed made of towels. It looked like he was going to get better, we were nursing him and he was drinking water and he even tried to bite me this morning! He just started trying to walk again after being sedentary for a few days.  But Tom and I came home from a walk and he was having spasms, flapping his wings all over, and Tom picked him up and we cooed and kissed him but it was no good, Harry died in Tom's hands at 7:30 tonight. He will be hard to replace.

Funny how a small little bird could have such a big place in our hearts.

Sephora Addict

I can't stop shopping at Sephora. In the last few months I have placed 5 orders and I visited the store yesterday. Initially it was the allure of the 3 free samples that got me in. OMG perfume samples! It was so exciting opening the package -- I blew through the stuff I had ordered (Christmas gifts) to see the little perfume bottles at the bottom. The first three I received were Michael Kors Island Capri, Dior Midnight Poison, and Narciso Rodriguez for Her. I loved them all but Narciso Rodriguez for her really stuck with me. I couldn't stop smelling my own arm. So I ordered it, deciding that it would be my winter signature scent. (My summer one is here.) That's where it all began. Every sample they sent, I fell for it and ordered the product. I'm a marketer's dream.



Over the course of the last three months I have acquired the following:
(images courtesy of sephora.com)



Philosophy The Present: This little bottle is probably my favorite beauty item. It's clear makeup applied as moisturizer, or over moisturizer. Once you apply, wait two minutes and it gives you sort of this airbrushed look that you can apply makeup over. (You can speed the process by aiming a blowdryer at your face on a cool low setting. This technique also helps set moisturizer before applying makeup.) The only thing is if you do not wait the two full minutes, it can become kind of gunky. I tried to use this under liquid foundation but found that it didn't smooth the way I like. So I skipped that step. The results were amazing! I ended up removing liquid foundation from my morning makeup routine, and my face has a flawless look, and stays non-greasy throughout the day.



DiorShow Mascara: I got this after researching mascaras to find the 'best' mascara (subjective, but whatev). When I first tried it, I thought it was too clumpy, too tarantula looking. A coworker advised me to give it another try, so I really experimented, using double coats, curling my lashes differently, etc. The result was amazing when I stepped back to really look at my eyelashes. This mascara can extend almost infinitely. It seems if I apply more toward the very end of my lashes the formula really binds to the small hairs making them look longer and longer. So, I love this stuff, even after almost giving it away.




Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler: I have to be honest, there is really no reason why a sane person should pay $18 for an eyelash curler. I added it to my favorites one day, and the next thing I knew it was in my shopping basket, and then I was paying for it! I am sure there are $5 or even $1 eyelash curlers that can do the same thing. But I use it every day, and I was super thrilled to see it mentioned the other day when I re-watched The Devil Wears Prada. I was all, "I have that!" LOL I'm such a dork.




Smashbox PhotoFinish Foundation Primer: Um, yeah. I wasted 44 bucks on this. I don't know, I thought it was going to be so great after using the sample for a week. But when I got the bottle and used it full force, it felt greasy and gross. It dries soft but I am still greasy throughout the day. Maybe I could revisit this like I did the mascara but it almost feels like smearing baby oil on my face. It even makes a 'greasy noise' that I can't explain in words. Well this serves the same purpose that the Present does, so I'm not too dissappointed. Has anyone else out there tried this and liked it? What am I doing wrong? ...sigh...



Oscar Blandi Dry Shampoo: This comes in an aerosol spray or a powder. I first tried the spray and used the whole bottle already. I use this to eliminate the oily look from my hair when I don't shampoo that day. Hold it as far away as possible and spray, and a fine lemony-smelling mist comes out. When that dries onto your hair you comb it through/shake it out, and it absorbs all the oil from your hair, leaving it clean and shiny (shiny in the good way, not shiny in the gross way). This bottle went kind of quick and I also noticed that it made me a bit flaky (my hair, people, my hair) so when this was gone I invested in the other kind. The saleslady at the Sephora store (which I visited yesterday) told me just to make sure I work it through my hair very thoroughly. People with darker hair colors may have more trouble using the spray, she says. I gotta tell ya, you could achieve the same result with regular old baby powder. Work it through your hair, yes, got it, don't spend $19 on this, yes, got it. It just won't smell lemony-fresh, fine, got it. Save yourself 18 bucks.


Nars Orgasm Blush: If you haven't heard of this by now you should come out from under your rock. I let the experts and beauty bloggers guide me to this one. I can never decide on a shade of blush, and there are so many to choose from on this page, so I just went with their recommendations of the Orgasm shade (besides, it's a really cool name right?). I really like this shade. Also, and we'll see if this comes true, it supposedly lasts a really long time so there is no need to keep replenishing. Unless you listen to the advice to throw away old makeup after three months or whatever. I do not follow that rule. I have makeup that I use every day that has lasted for years. And I hope this does too.





Philosophy The Supernatural: I left this picture huge so you can see what the fuss is all about. Or lack of fuss, rather. Look how easy it is! It is mineral makeup in a bottle, with the applicator sponge attached to the top of the bottle, with a mirror on the lid. And it smooths my complexion so nicely. You just turn it upside down and shake some powder around and then smooth the thing over your face. That's my kind of makeup! I want one for home, one for the car, one for the office. However, I don't need to reapply that often because this stuff lasts so long. I chose beige as my shade, for medium complexions with no yellow or pink undertones. This is one of my favorite products. So far Philosophy is winning.





I've also purchased assorted hairbrushes, makeup brushes, and gift sets. Pictures below. Click on any of the pics to be taken to their Sephora page.





So as you can see, my addiction is full blown. My Beauty Insider points have rolled over many times. But I wanted to share my experience and knowledge with you so you can make better decisions than I did. :-p I suppose I could attempt to return the stuff that wasn't to my liking, I'll have to investigate that further.

Tell me, what have you purchased from Sephora? What are your favorite beauty products in general?

Curb Your Enthusiasm

I'd almost forgotten that I own a blogger blog and not just a Xanga blog and a MySpace blog and a Facebook blog and a Polyvore profile and a Craiglist forum handle and YouTube account and a Digg profile.

So here I am again. I don't exactly know what I'm doing here but we'll find out at the next sentence.

I just gave some friends of mine their wedding gift a week and a half early. They sounded like they were a little strapped and I forked over the $200 Visa card I'd picked up earlier in the week. Did I break the laws of weddiquette? I think I just made up a new word. Anyway, they seemed happy and that's all I want for anyone who is about to get married in the next few weeks. So I say it worked out well.

I signed myself up for a doctor appointment tomorrow. This is a big deal for me because I haven't been to the doctor in almost a decade. I hope she doesn't tell me I'm dying. Well, I know I'm dying, slowly, we all are, but I hope she doesn't announce some life threatening something or other. Wow I have a really positive attitude don't I.

NOT.

I just realized my friend never gave me back my Borat movie. I'll have to call him. His birthday was the other day and I didn't call. Oh great now I can't call about the movie, I'll have to buy a new movie and forget about that copy.

Bummer.

I feel like Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. There's all these rules. Funny.