Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Top Ten Things That Annoy Me

Although I have been insanely happy for the last few weeks, I am still a normal person with normal mood swings.  I have been racking up this list of things that just drive me insane, and I'd like to be an annoying blogger and annoy you with them.  Maybe I'll make your top ten list of things you hate!

10.  Slow computers - Whether it is my Frankenstein computer attempting to make me tap my foot until it falls off or computers at school taking *just* enough time to boot up that I go to another one, only to be locked out because the other one finally logged in.  I am an impatient person, and it's 2007 -- computers are supposed to be fast!  Don't get me started on dialup.  Or the web browser on my Treo, ironically named "Blazer".  Shyeah.  Right.

9.  Microsoft Word Formatting - If I wanted to make a list, I would click the number button myself.  Can't I just hit enter and not have the entire text moved into next week?  And, no, I don't need your help, 'Annoying PaperClip'.  I'll figure out how to change the settings on my own.

8.  Bumper Stickers on New Cars - This one beat out black sneakers for a place on the list.  Basically, if you have a nice new shiny car -- do not ruin the back of it with STICKERS!!!

7.  Getting the car keys out of my purse - Mostly because I cram too much stuff into my purse because I refuse to carry a ginormo hobo bag everywhere.  Picture this: I'm holding like seven things (my phone, a coffee mug, ipod, purse, rubber chicken, kitchen sink)  and I'm approaching the car and I still haven't unzipped the bag to retrieve the keys.  Now comes the annoying part.  More than likely, I will need to systematically remove items from my bag until the keys are reachable.  Usually, they will still manage to snag on something that will fly out of my purse at the same time as the keys, forcing me to put everything down anyways and pick up the thing that fell on the ground.

6.  Radio Commercials - These only come on right after I have tuned in and turned up the volume on a station that I want to listen to while I am in the shower.  Therefore, the entire shower, I will be listening to people shout about things I need to buy tickets for next weekend.  I have had a cd skip while I was in there too, and I can't decide what's worse.

5.  Shopping, in general- Tangled hangers usually torment me at home, but they also find me when I'm racing through the clearance rack.  I just want to look at one thing and then that hanger is stuck on another one and items start to fall to the floor and then I just want to give up and go home.  But what do I do?  I carry six items into the dressing room and get all sweaty trying on things that look great under the store lighting and then need to be returned because they look more red in the natural light.  ARGH

4.  VoiceMail Instructions - Okay, I don't know who, in this day and age, really needs 'the voice' to tell them how to leave a message.  "You have reached the automated voice messaging system for _____.  The party is unavailable right now, so please leave a message after the beep.  The beep will sound like a beep.  If you do not want to leave a message, you may leave a number to be called at by pressing 0.  Okay, are you ready for the beep?  Here it comes, okay, are you ready, because this is the part where you have to speak into the receiver.  When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press 1 for more options.  Then after that, you will be done with the phone call completely and you can go on living life, or you can finally shoot yourself."

3.  Every Other Driver on the Road - Does this one need an explanation, at all?  I mean, this is you.  You cut me off, you turn in the wrong lane, you don't use your blinker, you drive too slow, you drive too fast, you eat while you drive, you are on the phone, your kids are staring at me out the back of your minivan, you lucky bastard, you can get in the carpool lane, I hate YOU.

2.  Pulling Sleeves/ Pant Legs Right Side Out - Again, with the laundry.  I just hate reaching in there to pull the sleeve out.  It's time consuming and irritating.  I usually try on like 6 different outfits before I leave the house, so this happens all the time.  Inside-out-things, I hate you!  I'm getting dressed, I don't have time for you.  Or when you take your pants off and they are like all stuck at your calf.  Or when you are putting pants on and you go to step down and you have bad balance and you step on the pant leg and you stumble around and eventually almost fall.  Yeah, that's me. I'm awkward and uncoordinated and clumsy.  (But it's the laundry's fault.)

1.  The Shower Surprise - This is when you reach in the tub to get the water ready and someone left the shower on.  Then you get a nice cold drenching.  Good for waking up, Bad for the attitude.  This only made number one because it happened to me the other day, but I was the one who left the shower on so I couldn't even get mad!!! 

Actually, making this list was pretty fun.  A lot of the things are things I could just avoid or do something differently and I'd never be annoyed again.

Shyeah, right!!